Woodshedding

B-flat clarinet doubles on A clarinet and E-flat clarinet.

From the composer:
"This is a piece about practicing. All the musical and theatrical events that occur are my fantasies about what might happen during a typical practice session. The performer does not need to make this clear to audience in a program note; this is an activity which all performers (and would-be performers) are familiar with. The clarinetist should wear whatever clothes he/she would normally wear when practicing. They should begin the piece by casually setung up the stage - stands, chairs, glass of water, etc., and assembling the instruments. Do not make a formal entrance, if possible. It is helpful to program this piece after intermission (or some type of interval) to facilitate the 'costume change' (if the piece is done on a clarinet recital). After playing a brief warm-up from memory (one possibility is included below), begin the piece as if practicing. Although serious throughout, you gradually get more and more frustrated with the piece you are practicing, digress into other familiar works, and create inventive solutions to impossible technical demands. By the time you reach the end of the piece, your frustration has built to the point that you give up trying to play any more, sing the final cadence, and smash your instrument in anger.

In addition to clarinets in E♭, B♭, and A, an inexpensive instrument in B♭ is required. For the first performance, we purchased a plastic clarinet which was broken in two and glued together with 'crazy glue.' You will also need a portable metronome and a tube to extend the low range to concert A♭. This is made by rolling heavy drawing paper (or plastic tubing), wrapping the top end with masking tape (for friction), and inserting it inside the end joint (with the bell removed). B,A,B,B,I,T,T by Donald Martino (Ione Press, Inc., E.C. Schirmer Music Co., Sole Selling Agents) contains detailed instructions on how to construct this tube. It should be approximately 11/16" in diameter and 7-5/8" long. All fingerings are from New Directions For Clarinet by Phillip Rehfeldt (University of California Press). This book also contains fingerings for the altississimo passages."